Lessons from a Leader: Mark Zuckerberg

I'm glad to have lived in a time when Artificial Intelligence has taken a huge leap from fiction to a form. But the level of our surrendering to IoT is a question to ponder about.

Above the leader

Mark Zuckerberg, the Founder & CEO of one of the most active social networking, Facebook has taken a challenge for 2016.

Mark Zuckerberg is creating history by coding Jarvis. What we saw as Jarvis in our favorite Iron Man series has taken a form from being a fiction.

Basically, Mark Zuckerberg had created an internet switch for all his home based needs like fetching a fresh tee shirt, toasting breads, turning lights off or on, to say weather updates, meeting schedules, to play a song. The actual switches are connected to an internet switch. Several items like weather updates, music from Spotify had been reverse engineered and programmed and coded to create the new Jarvis.

Lesson from the Leader

Mark runs the most active social networking site, Facebook as a CEO. A position that requires so much attention, talking to, meeting so many, addressing a lot of issues, having a global presence as organisation, managing new businesses, expansions, facing several challenges, considering legal and so many unending views. I'm sure 24 hours a day is simply never enough for someone like him.

Apart from being a CEO for one of the most influential organisation, he's also married, has a child and manages a perfect work life balance.

Irrespective of managing such a great organisation as Facebook, managing his personal life, he's still figured out time to code and create Jarvis. How well should someone manage his time to achieve so much time!

Now that's a lesson to take from Mark and raise our standards to achieve so much and yet continue accomplish several new challenges.

Have you chosen a challenge for 2017?

Love,

Lessons from a leader: Stephen Hawking

A leader need not be the most qualified & most influential person in a common interest group or organisation. He who sets an example, and lives by it for even someone at a far end on the other side of world is also a leader, who leads by example.

Situation

Why do I go through so much pain? I am so talented which I either know myself or my mentors have realised and said so, yet I don't get the opportunity to shine. Why do I not have enough of what it takes to be successful? Why do I face so many restrictions. Why am I unable to stretch my feathers and fly? Although I have been given wings, why are the broken that they are only a burden, rather allow me to fly?

Are these questions running in your head? You are simply not alone. Each of us are equally gifted and equally created. Yet what we do with our abilities lies at our very own will. Although a few might have the power of will, have restrictions or other suffering that might tie us down from performing our duties.

How we chose to dump our weaknesses back and still have hopes to complete our duties, requires mental strength. Which, unfortunately takes time to gather for each of us.

Leader

Stephen Hawking one of the greatest physicist alive and one of the most intelligent person was diagnosed with ALS (yes, the same for which almost few years back Mark Zuckerberg & Bill Gates followed by the rest of the world took up the ice bucket challenge).

When he was initially diagnosed with the disease, he was told he had two years to live. His condition was that his voluntary muscular movement was restricted. Doctors considered to even take him off the life support once. Stephen Hawking took it up positively and reminded himself that he had work to complete. Thanks to his love life, who supported him and took a great call to stand by his side.

Stephen Hawking went on to accomplish a lot of achievements, written titles and books at an advanced stage of the disease where he wasn't even able to speak.

Had Stephen Hawking allowed his mind to crunch negative thoughts, would he have been so successful in life? Had he thought he had only two years to live and chosen to live it without any focus, would he now be known for what he is?

Lesson

Now, read the questions, in the last paragraph before the leader, and ask yourselves a last question, do you want to continue cursing yourselves about your restrictions and limitations? Do you not want to achieve and show the world your abilities that you overcame in spite of the limitations and let someone like me write your success stories?

Think! Arise, Awake & Stop Not Till The Goal Is Reached.

Love,

Embrace the Difference

Four of us are sharing a car ride from our office, on the way we happen to see an incident where a young girl was loudly crying. It's not quite the normal scene and hence a crowd was slowly getting attracted to the spot.

As we pass by, one person assumes a sexual assault could have taken place and the girl could have been attacked. The second person says the girl who possibly was driving hit her vehicle and fell off the road. The third person says a thief could have snatched valuables and disappeared in to the neighbouring deserted area covered with overly grown weeds and trees.

Can you relate to such a situation? As in where multiple people taking multiple assumptions? These perspectives from different people arise due to differences in thought processes which are totally different according to each individual.

Such differences in thoughts are the genesis for differences in perspectives, such different perspectives lead to different approaches, motivations and intentions.

The above is just a small level analysis in terms of differences. Now take a huge perspective where the sample size is hundreds of people taking approach to same situation.

Such differences of opinion should be celebrated as it provides insights and exposes us to a different thought process which we otherwise might neglect or be ignorant about.

So the next time you want to argue about the difference in opinion, try embracing it. You get a new perspective free of cost.

Love,

Sibling Rivalry

Wherever you are in a public place like a railway station, airport or temple or any random place with a sizable crowd and families staying put, take a look to see children of age 4 to 5, and how they deal with their younger siblings below age 2.

Most likely one could spot sibling rivalry or abuse of the elder one. This so happens because of the sense of insecurity and losing importance by the elder child's parents, especially that of the mother's.

The elder child feels he or she lost the attention and love and begins to feels the rivalry against the root cause, the new baby which now has become the center of attraction.

The elder child feels it's territory encroached and feels being competed upon for the mother's lap, mother's attention, and being given importance by several others in the family.

A child of two or three or four has no maturity to realize that the new source of competition is actually his or her own belonging.

As the younger one matures being subject to ill treatment or physical abuse of the elder one, the rivalry intensifies in an array of issues such as belongings of toys etc, as the siblings get mature with age, the boundaries get wider and more hatred gets developed in various aspects.

How to tackle?

Parents should well prepare the elder one mentally with regards to the new arrival and create a sense of welcoming home of the new baby.

Once the new one arrives, the parent, particularly the mother must spend enough time with the elder baby as well.

Depending upon the age, the elder child should be given very small and basic responsibility to care for the young one.

The sense of togetherness must be inculcated at a very young age which will reduce the friction of sibling rivalry.

Write back to me in the comments section below.

Parenting is an art! How ready are you, as a parent?

Love,

What's lacking in this selfish world?

As the title outlays the theme for the post, today's world is taking its steps towards a selfish living. This is mainly because we're lacking a basic trait, empathy!

Empathy is largely different from sympathy and is most often interchangeably confused.

We humans are losing the most important qualifier for emotional intelligence by not being empathetic.

Whether it's at work where a manager has unrealistic expectations not actually knowing the basic intricacies of work outcomes or personal relationships where we fail to think of the perspectives, emotional and other needs, intentions or motivations of our partners.

There's this saying, people were meant to be loved and things meant to be used, sadly it's otherwise and this needs to be addressed at grass root level, parenting!

Love,

Water, water everywhere

Water, water everywhere, no water to use!?

A small summary as to how we can manage water and still live in peace.

Guess about a decade ago, the ADMK party while in power introduced the rain water harvesting scheme. Steps were religiously followed, and checks were done to validate that each household had a rain water harvest provision. This helped collect the rain water and increase the ground water table.

Are the audits continued now to check rain water harvest? If not, can we reinstate the good practice and bring it back to life?

Well, apart from the long struggle that won several cusecs of water that was released and the chaos that's stirred between the two States and the insecurities raised amidst the people of two States, is there a long term solution that we can do from our own side?

I believe yes, the entire Tamil Nadu state highways and key road routes can create rain water harvest pits every kilometer, and can be directly managed, implemented and funded by local corporations or districts, thereby collect the rain water, rather let it mix with drainage or loss to sea.

There's a correlation and causality between deforestation rate and rain fall deficit. A whole lot of trees are being chopped and new saplings are not being replaced, causing impact with increased warm temperatures. As I grew up in my school we were encouraged to grow at least one tree per household. But that was during a time when apartments or flats were not even existing. Now households per acre have increased several folds requiring more trees be planted.

I wonder if people have lost the thought in their mind that flora and fauna coexist with circulation of oxygen and carbon dioxide between each other.

Another alarming factor is the water bodies being converted as lands and real estates based on illegal poaching of lands which were once water bodies.

A lot can be done in terms of water treatment of sewage or drainage which can be reused in various ways.

If penny saved is penny gained & each drop makes an ocean are true, a lot of water can be saved and ground water table can be increased.

Thoughts? Write below!

Love,

Why Saying No Is Important

Well everyone of us has been there. I'm sure there's not much contradiction here. It's very very difficult to say no, immaterial of how difficult it is, one must practice the art of saying no.

While a lot of you who have a sales background might be familiar with the funnel of conversion from lead to deal, might well relate to this post as to why a no, a genuine no serves as a bliss.

Be it an interview result from a recruiter, a sale deal from a customer, an approval from a parent, a decision maker plays the most important role of saving time of the negotiator who's at least following up a minimum of three attempts in order bring the deal to a close/drop.

A sales person will very well be aware of the fact that from a 100 contacts a bare minimum of 3-5 deals might strike. But to judge which of the 100 calls might make it to a deal is a strenuous task.

A lot of us, are unable to say no; merely for the sake of not possessing the courage to say no or merely for the sake of being nice. If our true intention is to be nice, the best thing to do is to genuinely say no, thereby save their valuable time so they buckle up and track down the next prospect.

A lot of time and energy will be saved in terms of negotiations, if we merely possess the ability to say no.

Love,

The Beauty of Being Disconnected

Eight days without a smart phone might sound like less than a luxury for many of you. But if one chose to be without it, and experience the beauty of it, the realization strikes that it indeed is a luxury to live a life without it.

My temporary phone didn't support me to download the most popular chatting application. I was disconnected from a lot of you, including this blog app I use to write to you all time to time.

The first day was really restless, I continued to unlock my temporary phone time to time to check notifications and felt disappointed to see nill notifications. It took me two whole days to detoxify myself and fully realize the mental state we currently are in. How restless have we become in terms of constantly checking notifications and texts.

The third day and subsequent days were spent in a whole lot of peace of mind, an unexplainable calmness took over where I began to stop being constantly being distracted to my phone in the name of being connected with loved ones.

The days of being disconnected from my smart phone, allowed me to connect to  myself more deeply with a calm and peaceful mind. I fell asleep much quicker these days without waking up to random chats and notifications.

Life indeed was beautiful to stay disconnected this way. While it's too difficult to stay that way forever, I believe such a short term detoxification is necessary time to time.

While a lot of you out there might get ready with a lot of moderately acceptable abusive comments to write below, try  once to have a digital detoxification.

It's worth giving a try!

Love,

One never knows it all!

One of my friend makes a remark that it's time he leaves his current organisation, with less than a year experience. An article from Harvard suggests that the current job hop rate is at 4.6 years per organisation. And the article also recommends strong reasons to decide when it's time to switch.

The one point not pointed out, and that as an excuse for my pal to switch is probably the most ridiculous of all I've ever encountered. I'm told, there's nothing more to learn. I've learnt it all. I need to switch to another organisation to improve my learning further.

To know, is to know you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.
- Socrates

I guess the context of my post is revealed with the above saying.

Now for those of you who are patient enough to read the rest of the post gets a chance to read a personal experience which made me get my thoughts even more stronger on the above lines.

I traveled to Singapore recently and I did everything possible to have my home work about navigation, food etc. Since this was a trip all by myself, and to a new country, I covered as many details as possible in order to be well prepared.

I guess the incident occurred just to make me realise my ignorance levels. My first local bus trip on my first day of landing turned out to be the epic embarrassing moment for the rest of my life. The lady who drove the bus didn't know English and I didn't know Chinese. We exchanged sign languages which didn't help and she couldn't even read my phone which displayed texts in English.

It was quite a scene before the whole crowd until a local lady stepped up to translate for the two of us.

No matter how prepared we are, how much we have learned, there's still so much more left that is even beyond our imagination.

Will someone tell this to me friend?

Love,

Women, Go!

It's heart warming to see women rise and break conventional stereotypes. There are more women leaders at Pepsi, ICICI and the SBI.

Hillary Clinton is getting stronger in the USA and Theresa May is to replace the PM in UK.

There's this old saying educate a man, and only he benefits, educate a woman, the family benefits.

I do hope that the above gets an analogy and stand a chance to prove, empower a man and he benefits; empower women and the nation benefits.

With more women leaders, I'm sure there might be more empathy and deeper relationships among countries.

Go, Women!

Where are we heading? - 2

As I turned the TV on at my hotel due to boredom, I happened to see the image of a DNA and subsequent images were that of a pig and a human positioned next to each other. The curious still alive biotechnologist within me wanted to continue watching it.

The show was about Gene Editing. The further visualisation and about three to four case studies were showing human progress. But were highly disturbing.

Organ Development
The male human sex cells called the sperm are fused with a female ovum cells of that of a pig and a human embryo is developed and placed within a pig. The growing cells are altered and made to develop a certain portion of the Human body. This way a human pancreas or lungs or heart or kidney and any other crucial organ can be grown externally within a pig and then transplanted to a human being.

While the advantage is it kills the current thriving organ trade black market, and put an end to illegal organ stealing in certain hospitals, what matters is the ethical concerns. The pig being a creature of low stature being a secondary concern, the primary concern is that of how could human beings enter territories and take control over to such great extents?

Cure for HIV/AIDS
The rising concern of HIV and deaths being reported has lead to the cure of HIV via gene editing. Altering the sequence of genetic information in our DNA, HIV could be cured.

Baby Design
What was shown in Super Man in the planet of Krypton where natural selection and human birth was replaced by artificial baby Design, seems to be taking a true form. The rise of human genetic engineering has grown to design genetically rich alpha males and females.

Where are we heading to?

With pigs turning in to human replacement for a woman's womb, and fall of HIV, indirectly leading to less deaths and continuing births and population explosions, and design of genetically superior humans, are humans taking the right path of progress? Humans seem to be taking powers beyond what were given to him. What does a parent do when it's child misuses something that was given? A responsible parent takes it away. It won't be long before nature takes that call to wipe away human progress or the human race similar to dinosaurs that are no longer present.

Sure many of you would have a lot of contrasting thoughts on this, do write your comments below.

Love,

Incompetency

The most important and fundamental founding principle on which several aspects of the Human Resource management rests is the Peter's Principle. The Peter's Principle states, Everyone grows to their maximum level of incompetency.

There's a book titled Peter's Principle which reveals several insights and different case studies on career ladder, promotions, and reaching the level of stagnation due to attaining incompetency. Reaching that stage doesn't allow further career progression.

I happened to see this movie KO-2, and felt strangely connected to the shooting spot. It's the same road I've walked through for a span of two years during my Master's in Business Administration. The round road and clock tower are symbolic beauty of my VIT campus.

As the movie advances, there's this scene in front of the open coffee shop of Nestle near our library where they sell hot and cold beverages and noodles, that was before #Maggiban.

Paying a little bit attention to the background one could make out Taste Bhi Health Bhi campaign of Maggi on the store, where the movie production house have tried to give it an Arun Ice Cream appearance. The level of involvement is determined by the level of one's ability. When a team has a person who's attained their maximum level of incompetency, such poor results are easily displayed. In this instance the entire cast crew and production unit of the movie has failed in their attempt.

Want to know more about Peter's Principle and how to deal with it if you identify it in your team!? Stay tuned and read my future articles on Incompetency.

Love,

Will the madness ever end!?

Ohio zoo officials brought down the life of one to save that of another. Are the fictions and marvel stories encouraging such ideas!?

Madness! A gorilla named Harambe was shot down to death with a claim to save a child. As usual there's debate that it was mother's fault and other contradicting claims on whose fault it is.

But, wait how could you kill a gorilla to save a child!? As in who taught who as to which life is more worth!? And who ever allowed to imbibe that a gorilla is less worth than human!?

First of all, I hold an opinion that animals being caged and kept in captive or human control is by it self madness. Nature created all as equal and somehow man has a little more or probably little less than these animals. Man would be root cause for destruction and become the next dinosaur on earth to be eradicated at the alarming way we're cutting down trees, converting lakes as apartments and so on.

I never have expressed anywhere that the human born was inferior or the gorilla must have been allowed to kill the child. I'm simply of opinion that a different approach could have been deployed. What ever happened to the tranquilizers or other ways to distract the poor animal and save the child too!?

What was the failure mode for the child's entry to the moat!?

Will we ever change from keeping these animals under captive and learn to coexist!?

Animals are no way inferior to us. Nature created every creation with a reason behind. Just because man put a stupid pyramid of food chain and kept himself on the top doesn't mean he's actually the superior one. This too shall pass and we humans might be proved to a point to what our weaknesses are. And that's not too long!

Love,

Leadership

There has been many great research done and several articles written on leadership. However, this should help my readers around the world understand my opinion and understanding on leadership.

One of the most important trait that's required for a leader is to possess excellent communication skills. Communication is the key to persuasion and persuasion is the key in negotiation.

Have you read Shakespeare works!? Julius Caesar was the King of Rome and people were happy under his rule. The conspirators persuade Brutus and win him to their side to kill Caesar. They knew they can convince the public if Brutus took their side.

When Brutus gave his talk to the angry mob, the public mob was convinced that Caesar was indeed an ambitious man and it was right for him to be killed. When Brutus left Antony to take over and share his grief, Antony plays with the emotions of the mob expressing the generosity of the dead King who had divided his fortune to every citizen of Rome and he indeed was ambitious, but for his people, the mob's anger was diverted towards the conspirators and the very people set fires to the house of the three conspirators.

Persuasion and negotiations need communication, and ability to win hearts origin from the ability to communicate.

Love,

Are you a Dronacaharya!?

Mahabharata is the best book that explains 'history' and greatness of the Indian Subcontinent, it's people, culture and what not.

The Indian saga has narrations that could still be a reference for all our lives, even today although the original story line backdates several thousand years beyond captured and recorded human evolution.

Drona was the Royal Guru or Teacher who taught the Princes' the archery and warfare. Arjuna was his favorite amongst all.

Arjuna desired to be the best Archer in history, and to be the best in history requires that he surpass the abilities of his own Guru, Drona the Aacharya.

Realizing this too well, Drona still went ahead to help his disciple Arjuna to surpass him and be renowned as the best Archer.

In the present education system, how many in the profession of a teacher or a professor is willing to help a student to surpass them? Forget about helping the student, we all know the class room is a group of students where an average can be arrived and the group has few above average performers. Also, there are the exceptional ones who outperform even the teacher at comparatively much younger age.

Many teachers fail to take it positively and begin to diffuse a negative energy among the exceptional students. No wonder, brilliants like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates might choose to drop out and learn by themselves and pursue their passion and go on to make the world a better place.

Are you a Drona!? Would you let an Arjuna surpass you!?

Love,

It takes a mom to: 1

Mom is the most special person anyone can have. They starve to make sure their child is well fed.

Such a person in life needs to be given the credit they deserve and here I am beginning a new series on, "It takes a mom to" series. New experiences and narrations of mothers seen or experienced shall be updated in forth coming series. At the end, all moms are equal when it comes from an angle of love for their kids. So, the series are dedicated to all mom, that of my friends, relatives and even stories that I trip across.

In one of my close circle, a boy was asking for some evening bites. Myself and almost everyone in the group of ten wanted to walk away from the responsibility of partially baking ourselves from the heated oil pan in the process of making the assorted fried snacks. The closest concern among the group was from his sister who suggested to buy from a shop.

But it takes a mom to realize that her son living far away from them eats three meals a day outside, and that he needs to be fed in healthy way and home made food.

Such deepest level of empathy for anyone, be it a daughter or son, can be received only from a mom. No matter what, mom is a role that can never be replaced in anyone's life.

Love,

It takes courage to: 1

It takes courage to give up what you possess and to let go.

The very thought of securing and possessing something for ourselves come in to play in presence of insecurity.

Insecure people over possess excess quantity of stored inventory. Stored inventory could be food, money, gold or anything in relevant context.

It takes courage and fearlessness to give up on something to someone who might be in a much worse state and has a better need of the resource.

Shrada Dawar, from Madhya Pradesh sets a strong case study and a compelling reason for the first post on the series, It takes courage to. She's a differently abled person who's visual impaired and belongs to a tribal family and has cracked the exams and selection process and is now a probationary officer at Bank of India. That is not the achievement of her life. She went a step beyond that and met the collector and returned the 10,000 INR that she obtained previously to complete her education.

She says, she's got a job to be on her own and the money can now be useful for someone else. How many of us would possess that courage to give back and let go of something that we could actually retain with selfishness.

It indeed takes courage to do something like that.

Love,

Ever Thankful!

Well, thanks a ton to all of you out there clicking open the links and reading my posts. It's overwhelming response of 2000 hits in the past two months. What more can encourage writers than see evident results. A lot of you comment in these links and most of you write to me and get in touch with me to express your opinion and give valuable feedback and corrective actions.

I'm bound to be thankful to all of you across the world for your time and unending interests in my posts.

I'm soon going to start couple of series on which the title would remain same, however there would be new posts with new experiences, encounters and adventures. First of series would be, "It takes courage to," and more in pipeline that would reach you all.

Expecting your fullest cooperation and request that our journey in De Old Sage continues. Thanks a ton for making me happy!

Love,

Organizational Responsibility

I work in an organization where Team Outings are encouraged and we have a budget allocations for it. The most important clause and my personal favorite is that, reimbursements on liquor and cigarettes will not be encouraged and settled. I strongly believe that such ethical restrictions have an impact on individual behavior too.

I was part of the steering committee for a day's trip for my team and we obliged to the limitations set by my firm, not a penny was spent on alcohol or cigarettes. When one of my friend surveyed couple of my team mates if the outing didn't satisfy them as alcohol was not included, my team mate had replied, "I can access alcohol anywhere and anytime, since this is an official gathering, it's OK that I can sacrifice."

I felt that having such restrictions on organizational policy does in fact has its influence. The morality is instilled and a discipline is driven among employees.

Pity, I hear from my friends from other firms who work in stressful environment that their firms take them to pubs and officially sponsor alcohol. I've known people who've never taken alcohol before are subject to social pressure and influence and start their trials with alcohol and cigarettes.

While work place colleagues or friends can take their time and money out of their own will and go partying is not a matter of concern, organizations sponsoring and encouraging dark activities and late night events and booking rooms in hotel for one night stays for their employees are a major cause of concern.

Man is a social animal who had for a reason institutionalized marriages and practices monogamy. Why are we reversing the situation, and what more can be more toxic than organizations that are turning as brothel houses!

There are ways to deal with stress and organizations need to have stronger morality to drive values, like the first instance where an employee can accommodate the absence of alcohol.

Rules are good, for a reason!

Love,

Be Responsible

Every drop makes up an ocean.

This is probably the worst of summer in all our lives at least for  people born after 1980s. Summers are getting worse every year. And there's more people consuming more electricity and water, of course being a basic necessity.

There's no way we can reduce the consumption, but we sure can do a lot of saving that's not actually being consumed, yes, I mean wastage.

Every tap that leaks when fixed can save tens of litres of water. Imagine the households across the country & the world!? Every drop saved makes a difference.

Same is case with electricity. Turn off every unused appliance in your home and office.

A penny saved is a penny gained. Substitute the penny with water, electric units or whatsoever you want to. But it's high time that we wake up.

Plant trees as many you can, wherever possible. This will make a huge difference to the climate change.

While we are calling it progress and actually deteriorating the lives of all in the Earth, what are we creating and what progress are we making when climate change gets so worse. With water draughts, and food supply that will drastically fall due to water shortage, how long would life be possible on Earth!?

Time to wake up, to be responsible!

Love,

Power of Influence

It was during my late teen years when I happened to see a documentary on Oprah Winfrey. There was this unexplainable feeling that I could resonate to every word that described the life of this Media Mogul. Her past seemed to be similar, her determination seemed to be similar, her achievements seem similar to my aspirations. Going deep dive and trying to know more about this person and her respect for Maya Angelou and their relationship seems similar to what I hold with a mentor of mine. Unknown to her, unmet, Oprah Winfrey has seeded deeply in myself that my aspirations can be tapped with my potential and that they can be crowned as achievements that might instill a similar effect on another person and thus, the cycle continues.

Influence is so powerful that the influencer might not even been alive during the same span of our lives and might have lived hundreds of years back.

Shakespearian words gives me goosebumps like none else. His plays are a great source of influence that inspire several writers as myself. If I read an article about his skull missing in the cemetery, it gives me chills down my spine. Influence is the medium to feel related to someone or their thoughts actions or achievements.

Now think what happens when someone so ignorant chooses a wrong source of influence. Choose wisely.

Love,

Where are we heading?

As I unfolded today's Deccan Chronicle, I had more than one reason to frown. One could resonate with this and agree News these days are not soothing to us any more. More things happen around the world that is changing and challenging the way we live our lives.

The first disturbing piece of information is the trending hashtag, #MalePolish, a new trend where hundreds of men around the world are donning nail polishes and nail art. Well, why is this new trend so important. While things such as these are personal choices, do we have to go all over the Internet and exhibit viral posts?

The second one is about a case in SC where there are petitions about women to be allowed entry at Sabarimala temple, very soon after a ruling about entry to Shani temple.

These have been practices for some reasons and have to be adhered to. I hope fighting for equality won't go beyond this. There's a practice at Guruvayur temple where men should wear dhoti and be bare above waist. Practice is backed up with fact, that men need to absorb the rays from sanctum which have vibrations received via the pillars connecting to the top of the structure. Women need not do this because, they carry within themselves the garbha graha, the uterus which symbolises the presence of God in women.

Such are reasons behind why certain practices are held. Pray God there's no fight for equality that pushes boundaries beyond its limit.

Where are we heading to?

Love,

A Happy Ending

It's beyond hope as far as the phrase goes, an happy ending. It is prevalent only in fiction and movies.

How many of us have lost our dear ones and parted ways with our close kith and kin that has destroyed our peace of minds.

Endings have always been sorrowful and merciless. Parting ways as friends from college, and staying in touch with each other, regular weekend night parties doesn't actually fit in to "endings."

We spend so much time by prioritizing wrong people in our lives and then wake up one day and no longer want to be that person who's just being used and left behind. We take charge with a new determined grit that certain relationships are just filthy and poisoning our minds. We rebel and let the other know that we are not available and for granted.

This is the stage when the other person in relationship feels no more use, and we gradually end the relationship.

Endings are always sorrowful, and can never be happy, unless it's a fiction.

Love,

Childhood Memoirs

Reaching out to all of you out there, through my various posts on behaviors, psychology & relationships has been a pleasant journey. A lot of you have agreed on while the other lot has agreed to disagree with me. Well, that's the balance of life, one needs to adjust to live. I receive more personal mails and messages than comments on the blog.

One friend of mine, pointed out "superiority complex" portrayed in my posts, while I had to defend myself for the limitless levels of inferiority complex I've had to deal with and learn a hard way to cope up with people and life.

Below is one such memory of my childhood in a residential school where I was initially lost in trying to stabilize with the changes in the environment. This was the first school I went to that had a library,   a place that mostly resembled a museum, largely due to the silence associated with it, like the ones that I've visited from my previous schools as a one day trip.

While trying to adapt about being on my own was itself a huge complexity, academics was another area that I had to fight with. Thanks to the excellent food there that puts me to sleep in the morning hours. While I'm active out of my slumber, it's time for lunch and again I go back on a slumber for the afternoon sessions.

Once a week there is an hour at the library, where we pick up a new book in exchange for the old book we had taken in the past week. I never knew why I picked those books in the first place, forget about reading them. In few weeks a slip was handed over where all of us had to summarize the contents of the book and submit at the time of returning the book. Wait, I've never read them ever! I simply copied the back cover blurb of the book and returned the book to the librarian.

I had no clue he was so jobless to sit and read the summary of all submissions. Or may be that was his key responsibility, who cares!? He called me forward and asked me to extend my arm, and there he struck my arm with a yellow wooden scale. I'm not sure if those wooden rulers still around in the market here!

While adapting to the environment, academics being complex enough at a very young age, with no support on how to adapt to a new life, forcing things down is a pain that's hard to explain. And what more can be painful when you realize you're the source for your fellow mates to laugh at!?

Now, who was the one who sent me that text on "Superiority Complex?"

Things have changed far for good and I've published my first book at the age of 26, an age half of it at which the Academic Head of the same school published his first.

Now, that's not Superiority Complex, rather I'd call it, living well. What else could be the best revenge?

Love,

Cloud Gazing

I write this post as I lie down on the terrace of a 5 storey apartment flat I currently reside. I see those tiny dots twinkle on a dark background sky. The clouds move past me as though milk boils down from a vessel.

It's been ages since I got myself to connect with nature and forget this man made life. Thoughts get so vivid and imagination rises to its peak as I lay here and watch the clouds moving past me.

In the evenings, as I take a stroll around my office, I see a lot of heron and strokes walking on the grass and catching their prey and running around cheerfully. A lot of other birds are constantly wading around the marsh fields near by.

They do their duty and nothing else. To live, feed, keep the food chain active, breed and beget, die and decompose. It makes me feel, why did humans evolve and build so many sky scrapers and get too stranded away from nature?

May be, humans are doing our duty bestowed upon us, to bring destruction to earth, and thereby reset the cycles.

When was the last time you tried star gazing?! It's not too late! Go right now!

Love,

The Difference

The current education system demands replications of texts, phrases and sentences from the books to test answer sheets. The education system doesn't validate the understanding of the students. And we, happily forget what we studied over night after dumping them in a span of three hours. And then preparation for next exam starts and students forget what they studied once the exam is over. We don't read again unless we don't qualify that particular subject.

Ask any student to explain why sugar gets equally distributed in a cup of tea, chances are less that they can relate it to diffusion. How many Electrical & Electronic Engineers are able to fix a repaired iron box at home?!

That's the difference between studying and learning.

If by seeing the movie "Sethupathi", a Tamil movie where the child rises up to the occasion and handles the situation, but becomes passive when it doesn't require intervention, if a student of Psychology or Emotional Intelligence or HR Specialization recognizes and relates it to "Emergent Leadership", then learning has really taken place.

Same is the interesting difference between listening and hearing. A lot of us are capable of hearing. But we unconsciously ignore the ability to listen and merely hear to what's going on around us. By hearing, our ears can grasp the sound of a fan, honk, bell and whatever. But when we listen, we imbibe, we process and assimilate the inputs of the teacher, friend or our partner.

Are you differentiating?

Love,

Known is a drop

Our forefathers have said, "Katrathu, kai alavu & kallaththu kadal alavau", a literal translation of this is, "known is a handful and unknown is an ocean." The English variant to this is what says, "Known is a drop and unknown is an ocean."

I recently went to a book shop in a mall and the cooking section of books caught my attention.

I saw a book that struck me so hard. The title of the book was, "125 million Italian recipes." While I possess limited knowledge in Italian cuisine, such as pasta, salads and pizzas,  a number as 125 million was hard to digest. But sure is a wake up call.

Love,

Everyone leaves a mark

In a city there was a 12 seater restaurant. The restaurant had two shifts with three chefs. The first shift was managed by the single master chef. The second shift was staffed by two others.

The master chef was experienced and old as the title suggests. The other two were skilled and semi skilled, but lacked experience the master chef had.

Every day when the amateur chefs come in the master chef leaves for the day. As the master chef leaves, the kitchen looks tidy at its best and all items neatly put back. It used to be less tidy and unorganized when the amateur ones leave.

The semi skilled amateur one day asked out of curiosity to the old chef. "Master, how come you never leave a sign of having cooked? It looks as though you never cooked and only cleaned the kitchen." The old master chef smiled and walked out without a reply.

Occasionally the amateur asked the same question and the old chef never replied. One day the amateur lost it and stopped the old man saying he would not let him pass until he got a reply. The old man looked around, and replied patiently, "I've left a mark, if you're capable of finding it, find it."

Unable to find any mark the amateur gave up next day to master chef. For few days the amateur never questioned the master. One fine day the old master quit from his work. Even on the last day, the old chef left the kitchen spic and span. The amateur wanted to get the answer and was more polite and asked his question, "Master, how come you leave no mark while you cook?" The master was more polite, and replied, "Clearly there's a mark I've left. Look carefull." Saying those words the old master walked out.

Few months passed by and the old man was in his death bed. He sent for the amateur. The young one came by, with a concern the old master asked, "So, did you find the mark I used to leave?" The amateur had no reply. The master then finally spoke, "I used to leave a mark everyday and that's the mark of cleanliness." Saying these the master went into a slumber. The young one sat there for a few minutes fumbled at the realization and walked out, without disturbing the old man's peaceful sleep. The young one learnt his lesson.

Clearly, everyone leaves a mark!

Love,

Mind one's self

Have you ever wondered the depth of understanding or realization you could hit on if you paid attention to yourself and not to others.

Observation is key to learning, but not by observing other people and their lives.

How many of us have encountered our foods and plates being seen over by others across other tables in a restaurant?

This is a common scene in many parts, at least within India.

One must pay attention to their own needs, wants & desires and try to satisfy it rather than see someone else.

One quote of Will Smith or who ever said that I like the most, we buy things with money we don't have, to impress people whom we don't like. Funny, yet so damn true!

Your thoughts? Reply in comments!

Love,

Customer service

Back in 2010, I used to work as a customer support analyst for UK's largest telecom provider for broadband internet. Almost everyone in my team and other teams used to make use of opportunity to swap to an unproductive aux and avoid taking a call. Be it training, hurdle or in name of documenting the call.

Rather I used to answer calls anytime. For I loved to interact with people, and I loved helping them.

There was this incident where my first English caller of that day began to ruin my happiness as she was very irate. It took me more than 20 minutes to identify the issue. There was no problem with the broadband network. My scope to support ends the minute we have established internet connection.

But this customer was troubled. I felt the urge to help and asked her what she was intending to do. She replied that she underwent a surgery in her eye few days back and she can see only with one eye, and she wanted to send email to her children and relatives that the surgery was a success and she was safe.

I took every possible effort to help her write her first ever email in her life. The physical cripple coupled with agony of ignorance had troubled the poor lady. When she clicked the send button on email, she genuinely thanked me, "Son, I know I've been very bad to you. Yet, you have been so kind to me. And thank you so much. God bless you."

The reason why I'm sharing a story almost 6 years later is, every call in a support center is an opportunity to help someone in need. Every avoidance is a real need ignored. Take pride in what you do, never underestimate the role you are doing at work, you are there to help someone. Do it with that empathy.

The best way to reach God is to serve his kids who need to be helped. It's never through donations made to temples that man built and claims as God's residence.

Love,

Amma - for Mom

My mom!
Probably one who had suffered the most!
Being a daughter, wife, in law, and mom.

In all these roles she played so patient,
Playing a mom would have been so torment.

For she just played roles with others.
With me she had more than that..

Raising a brat and tending my wounds,
Teaching me to raise for every other fall.

Knowing all my weaknesses more than myself.
And yet so patient and helping me build my strengths..

If not for her, I'm not what I'm this day!
Dedicated to my special mom, this special day on leap years.

P.S. This is meant to be a general poem where any reader must be able to connect with themselves and their mom. While few got it, few mistook it for me and my mom.

Love,

Unconditional love

When I logged in to work today, there was an instance where one of my managers (Yes, you read that right! I have four managers!) quoted from Bible, "it's not good enough to be good to those who are good to us, we must be good to those who are not being good to us, that is unconditional love." While the situation and usage seemed largely irrelevant for him to quote this, it made me feel a blessing in disguise. A message that Lord Jesus sent me through him, particularly on this day!

I had a very bad start with a lot of annoyance from a source who's a constant negative energy in my life draining the positivity of my life. While that quote soothes the mind, don't we feel like, "Is there no limit for all this Bullshits?" I mean, how long do we just keep being good.

Lord Krishna says in Gita during the war to Arjuna, "Non violence must take it's origin through violence. One must not simply use non violence as a defense mechanism for cowardice."

Swami Satchidananda, the founder of my school which shaped a majority of me, says, "you love me, I'll love you back, if you don't love me, I'll not love you. I'll seek someone who loves me back" Swamiji says that isn't love, he laughs and says he's got a different name and reveals, "such a situation is called business, not love."

While these sayings and quotes make us feel good, is this practically possible? Not all of us are Teresa and Satchidananda. If all were, they won't be recognized for what they are. From a common man perspective, I have a  question, "Why does the sufferer keep suffering and call it unconditional love? Can't those useless creeps feel pity for being such a pain in our lives and think reciprocally?"

Do you have thoughts that help me and those who face similar situations? Comment below!

Love,

Dependency is evil

Consciously I've done everything possible to avoid being a dependent. To the maximum extent possible, I avoid taking help and do most of the things by myself.

But without ever realizing, I've allowed a lot others to be a dependent on me. A handful who felt better having dependency on me, a few I had pet myself and nurtured as my dependents.

When the realization struck me, I began to say no to these dependents. Neither do I nurture them, nor do I encourage those who depend on me.

It's great to be on our own. Similarly, it's great to see whom you care for being on their own. Saying no is a beautiful way to see your beloved ones grow. Say no & watch them grow.

When all else is lost, the one within survives. One must be ready and take practice to be thyself. When there's no other way out, take help.

Say no, kill dependency!

Love,

Marriages are made in heaven & broken in Earth

It's an old saying, marriages are made in heaven. Now it's time to append and add few words to it... And broken in earth.

Gone are the days when either or both partners took conscious efforts to keep the marriage alive. I've known couples who never got to look at each other's face until at the place where the marriage took place.

Having been brought in different culture and life styles, the initial roads of the married life are often filled with bumps. A German couple who attended my cousins wedding advised, "the first five years are the toughest, and then awaits a beautiful life ahead."

But how many couples are willing to take it beyond that period or even willing to understand that differences need to be embraced and sorted out?

Food is a personal boundary, and there are many others that should not be crossed.

I've known a man who's family is used to having a meal at night. When he married a woman who's used to eating lite dinners and not rice, started to pinch the basic rights of livelihood. Many other reasons collided and they ended up in divorce.

I had to caution this man in his second wedding as he planned to make his fiance to cook meals for him and tiffin for herself for supper. I had to explain the pain of cooking different dishes for different persons, thereby increasing efforts in cooking and cleaning. And then it struck this man about how personal spaces were being compromised and how to cope up with individual demands.

Empathy, not sympathy is a key to embrace marriages. However, it has to be a conscious effort of the two people involved.

High networth, networks, ability to influence and persuade, all these backed by employability and self made possessions have contributed to collapses of weddings.

Marriages were made in Heaven to last, not to be broken in Earth.

Love,

Truth is one, paths are many!

Having been raised in a traditional family with liberal stances, and being raised in Christian schools, I've always been open to a religion that isn't mine.

It was then I was in a school which preach "Truth is one, paths are many", a saying from its founder Swami Satchidananda.

Community prayers were held each evening where all students of all religion sit together, chant holy hymns of all gods.

Bible stories such as Noah's & Anon have fascinated me a lot. I picked up interest to read the holy Quran and in reading less than two pages, I realized I wasn't matured enough to continue reading it further.

Cultures across religions are always fascinating, and one life time isn't enough to explore them all.

Join me in my journey and share few insights in the comments below on your rich experiences in understating religion & cultures.

Love,

The Weak Becomes Adamant

When anyone comes across someone with an adamant character, it's natural for common folk to judge them for a negative attitude.

With years of observation and lots of people I've observed so far, the root of adamance points and tapers to weak souls.

The ones who are weak are often taken advantage of. The weak ones have gone through a lot of compromises, a lot of adjustments and sacrifices.

As these weaklings evolve in accordance to Darwin's survival of the fittest, the route they choose is adamance. It becomes easy to put their foot down, be rude and have their say by being adamant.

Next time you see someone adamant, don't be quick in your judgments. Who knows their past?

Two Key Skills

Ever wondered how very few people have the ability to face any situations and manage to survive, scale up the hierarchy and almost face no rejections?

There are two things that differentiate people who remain as success magnets.

1) Ability to communicate. Of course, anyone can communicate. What actually matters is that one must possess the ability to judge the audience and communicate accordingly. One of my pals from my Business School during a placement group discussion used a jargon FMEA. It makes an impact to the  recruiting officer to pause and pay attention to the candidate. Now that's remarkable and helped to move to a panel interview. We later discovered he didn't even know it's full form. FMEA - Failure Mode Effective Analysis.

2) Willingness to learn. The same pal has had a cold war over WhatsApp with another mate from our class. And yet, had only one objective in his mind. Willingness to learn. Although the math & grammar tests are irrelevant to his career path, shed his ego and patched with the other guy and learnt how to crack the math aptitude. One must possess the willingness to learn, apart from merely talking and must have no concerns about the source of learning.

These are the forces behind the magnets successful people possess. It's not necessary to take a resolution at New Year's. Any day is a New Day.

Cultural disasters

There's a saying India is a mosaic of cultures. But what needs to be looked in to is identify what is a cultural misfit to current situation and dump behind.

There are visible sources to learn from. I fail to understand why we don't pay attention to these learning sources.

This post is through observing cultural differences of people of north and south India in my regular cab transport.

There's a bunch of new hires from North, and almost all of them have loud voices, highly outgoing and very broad minded compared to the people of south.

While south Indians remain calm and have low voices in terms of interacting, are not as broad minded as the people from north.

A north Indian girl happens to sit casually  in the 11 seater  vehicle, immaterial whether it's a guy or a girl who's sitting in next seat. However, a south Indian girl throws tantrums about a seat next to a guy and goes about shuffling the seat arrangement of all people in the vehicle to get a seat next to her own gender or a free single seat.

I'm not judging whether it is right or wrong, but the need to throw behind inhibitions and thoughts that are irrelevant in current scenario.

Can the south & north imbibe & embrace each others best practices?

Let them own their perceptions!

Roughly about two years back, this incident had occurred. It was the first evening we were dining at the new hostel during my MBA program.

I don't remember the situation where I used such a statement, but I still remember what I mentioned.

Me: I give back more than what I get. As long as someone is good to me, I'll be good, and when it's other way around, I give it back more than what I get.

Second person: smiles.

That statement was not made with any intention of addressing anyone. Just had to use it in the situation.

Third person: (in my absence) Look at his attitude. I wonder how the next two years are to pass with such a person.

A fourth person who happened to be a silent spectator and a well wisher of me, informed me about the conversation later requesting me to be careful among people who judge so blindly and talk in absence of the party involved.

I just replied him, let him have his own perceptions, I'll remain what I am. There will come a time, when his perception would change and he would understand me. Honestly, I have not done anything after that.

Time rolled by, we were either too busy or too useless at different times of the calendar. In one such instance, just as I told, this person had a chance to realize about me and correct his perceptions about me. Without any effort from my side. And then we happened to be the best friends there after.

Today's take away: Let them own their perceptions and be free to have their thoughts... Just remain what you are. There will come a time when people will realize their mistakes. Don't ever correct anyone with their thoughts. Let them remain what they are, and you remain as what you are.

Perceptions are theirs to keep!

Are We Prepared?

Chennai floods have been a huge wake up call to the people of India & to the world. Lots have lost houses, possessions and families too.

Although having nothing to lose, I faced what it was to refer like being a refugee, without food and having to vacate from where I stayed.

With a disconnect to electricity, Chennai was in darkness, even during the day. Internet was down, leaving electronic payments and ATM machines redundant.

What came through this was just a sample from nature, to prove earthlings, particularly human are so weak compared to nature.

Read about 1859 solar storms, which affected telegraphic poles, the advancement at that stage. Are we now prepared to face a solar storm which could backdate us beyond internet which seems to have been included in basic needs like food, water & air?

Can internet survive in a stage of lack of electricity? With advancement being so rapid, do we from earth's functional perspective, have a continuity plan? Most businesses have continuity plans, do we have life continuity plans in place?

Hindu temple shrines copper dooms are thunder receptors enabled with millets inside them for dual purposes. One, to dissipate thunder and other for life continuity in case of floods, seeds are to be taken for reuse of agricultural evolution.

At the pace we are moving ahead, are we prepared to live in a time and position without any of these recent developments. Only those who are prepared for such an outcome, are defined as survival of fittest by Darwin.

Are we prepared?

From,
Old Sage.