Psychology - On Parenting

I am no parent myself, but I spend enough time to read reasearch articiles, blogs and experiences. I also observe around my life, people and their mistakes on this bit, parenting. 

Well, it makes sense that I am starting to write exclusively on Parenting, as the topic is very broad and way too deep. It simply cannot limited to a single post.

Well today, let me write in brief about the most common mistakes parents do. Children these days are smart, and there is no denial there. Babies are far more intelligent today, learn quick and emulate the surroundings way fast and quicker than the children in 70s, or 80s. The intelligence they carry, via the genetic memory or in their DNA from their parents combined with the kind of exposure to technology, takes their IQs more than the parents. As much as an individual learns, the genetic memory + acquired knowledge of the child, keeps the child far more intelligent than the parent. And sadly this is a gap that keeps increasing similar to a Fibbinocci series. There is no reversal to this. Understanding this perspective and accepting that the child is far more intelligent than the parent, is one first step. 

But the second and crucial step, is very important. Don't every play dumb to your kids. Many parents do the common mistake of presenting themselves naive and ignorant, to give a moral boost to their child to feel proud of him/herself. That is totally wrong. You may handle any other means and methods to encourage your child, to make them feel better. But DO NOT, belittle yourselves. It may be nice at the beginning, but as years progress, the pespective the child develops in its mind is that you are dumb and not intelligent. The child may begin to admire someone else within the family or from outside the family. Apparently the child begins to choose mentors outside the family, and wrong examples the child sets for itself are costly.

Read here - The Confusion Prevailing over Mentors

It becomes a constant battle, between the child and the parent, once the child begins to have the notion that his/her parent(s) are not intelligent enough to learn from/emulate. 

Keep an intelligent poise and let your child realize his/her parents have had battles and life experiences that are valuable to look up to and learn from. Do not do the mistake of playing dumb to your child, for his/her confidence or feel good factor and repent as he grows in to adolescence assuming you aren't intelligent enough. To change that perspective would be a much tougher battle to fight.  

Love,

De Old Sage!

Coming back to where I belong the most!

Hello World!

Quite a time, hasn't it been since the last you happened to see me around or read a post from me? Well, I am pretty much alive. I apologize to those of you who were ardently following my posts. That can rest in the past, as I am back to action! I am hoping now, as I am penning this post, that this time after such a long break, I will continue to maintain the momentum that I once paced at and write more frequently. But it definetly goes a long way to see your comments on my posts. It gives me the motivation that my work meets you, helps you and the time i have put in writing for you, is productive and fruitful. So, please comment and share your opinions and thoughts!

I will write posts going forward on understanding human psychology, and cover about parenting, self improvement, motivation etc. 

I will also write about Financial Insights, and share the very limited understanding and knowledge I have gained all along. 

I shall also write about Cautions we need to be aware of due to gimmicks and fraudlent ways businesses are shaping up these days to lure money from us. While it may be threatening, I strongly believe that this is a needed evil among my posts, for the fellow community members to be aware of. 

I shall also write on my favourite topics on productivity, ideas & innovation, value creation and other Management studies related insights. 

Ocassionally you may see me sharing some poems and life experiences, posts related to travel, itenerary ideas on how you can back pack and escape for a weekend. 

Wow, I feel excited to be back, and hoping you are all equally excited as well. Share your thoughts on the comments section. 

Love,

De Old Sage!

The Universe Gives You Everything

Little does one realize that the plentiful universe has everything one needs.

The design of universe with availability of Flora and Fauna and the beautiful way the two coexist while one gives out CO2 and the other takes it in for its living. The release of the oxygen by flora is vital for the living of the fauna.

The universe has blessed us with plenty of all that one needs, as humans, most of us have access to clean water, air, food. We have the leverage to choose and make options of what we want too.

There's a saying, every grain of rice that we eat today, was sowed several weeks and months ahead before it reached us today. Such is the blessings of the plentiful universe.

Apart from basic needs, we also have family, society with/in which we live and exchange a lot of support, given to us by the universe.

We also have social needs, to be rich, famous, well traveled, possess brands and tags that boost one's identity.

And the universe, kind universe is so awesome and acknowledge all our needs and wants.

All that we need, desire and wants are around us. The universe has seeded the thought of what one needs, wants and desires based on what it has to offer.

While the plentiful universe gives us all that we want, it also gives us what we don't want.

It does gives us bad experiences, bruises us physically and emotionally. We fall and make mistakes. The unconditional universe gives us pain and gain equally.

The only difference is, whether one may deny or not, the needs are always fulfilled and given to us. But what one doesn't need, is a choice the universe leaves with us.

The universe gives us what we need to ensure that we give back what is expected of us.

But, It's up to one's own choices to choose what he/she doesn't want to own. It's at the individual level to reject what one doesn't need. It's up to us to refuse bad company, a bad partner, a possible failure and a bad/misled investment.

The universe gives the good and the bad unconditionally. It's up to the awake soul to stay away from what isn't needed.

Love,

The Tamil Story - Pongal Celebration

The Tamil Festival, celebrating the most important person and it's associated God, the farmer and the Sun.

The Evening Before:

As part of the rituals, we clean and level our entrance with a coating of the cow's dung. For those of you who are unfamiliar about this, cow dung is an antiseptic and all things and forms enter the house through the entrance. Spreading the entrance with a natural source of antiseptic is aligned with nature.

We use ground rice flour to to make rangoli, that serves as a meal to sparrows, squirrel and the finer granules are taken by the ants.

The doors are decorated with turmeric, vermilion, mango leaves. There's another bundle with two local variety of flowers and neem leaves.

On the day of Pongal:

We wake up and make two or three variety of boiled rice, pongal being the over flowing water and milk from the vessel, decorate the puja room, take the harvest from our garden/backyard/field, and along with the boiled rice, offer it all to the great visible God to our naked eyes, The Sun, who with his light is responsible for all forms of life, plants and it's produce.

It's a thank you note to the Sun and it's labor, the farmer whom we thank for the food that is the most basic need and keeping us alive and healthy.

Wishing you and your family a very happy pongal.

உங்களுக்கும் உங்கள் குடும்பத்தில் அனைவருக்கும் இனிய பொங்கல் திருநாள் நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள்.

Love,

Be polite & Emphathetic

We are all running too fast in this world, not knowing our destination. We're hoarding more than we can consume. We're not living at the present.

We are focused on interacting with someone else over a call or a messenger application and not showing bare minimum politeness to the person next to us.

We send emojis with fake intentions. How many of us really smile or really happy on our faces as we use such emoticon?

We pass the hatred we have for someone else to a wrong recipient. How often have be done this and/or faced this!?

We can see some shop keepers so rude and shout at some people and ask them, "Are you mad?" Little do we realize if the other person is autistic or challenged.

Some shop keepers do not want to donate a meal to a person who is so badly hungry, foreseeing the other person to come back every day.

Where's humanity in us? What are schools teaching to children? How are the double income couples raising their children?

Empathy seems to be the most wanted and mostly missing thing.

Be kind and empathetic. Don't pass your hatred or grudge on someone to a wrong recipient.

This Christmas & New Year, look at reflecting on these aspects.

Love,