Amma - for Mom

My mom!
Probably one who had suffered the most!
Being a daughter, wife, in law, and mom.

In all these roles she played so patient,
Playing a mom would have been so torment.

For she just played roles with others.
With me she had more than that..

Raising a brat and tending my wounds,
Teaching me to raise for every other fall.

Knowing all my weaknesses more than myself.
And yet so patient and helping me build my strengths..

If not for her, I'm not what I'm this day!
Dedicated to my special mom, this special day on leap years.

P.S. This is meant to be a general poem where any reader must be able to connect with themselves and their mom. While few got it, few mistook it for me and my mom.

Love,

Unconditional love

When I logged in to work today, there was an instance where one of my managers (Yes, you read that right! I have four managers!) quoted from Bible, "it's not good enough to be good to those who are good to us, we must be good to those who are not being good to us, that is unconditional love." While the situation and usage seemed largely irrelevant for him to quote this, it made me feel a blessing in disguise. A message that Lord Jesus sent me through him, particularly on this day!

I had a very bad start with a lot of annoyance from a source who's a constant negative energy in my life draining the positivity of my life. While that quote soothes the mind, don't we feel like, "Is there no limit for all this Bullshits?" I mean, how long do we just keep being good.

Lord Krishna says in Gita during the war to Arjuna, "Non violence must take it's origin through violence. One must not simply use non violence as a defense mechanism for cowardice."

Swami Satchidananda, the founder of my school which shaped a majority of me, says, "you love me, I'll love you back, if you don't love me, I'll not love you. I'll seek someone who loves me back" Swamiji says that isn't love, he laughs and says he's got a different name and reveals, "such a situation is called business, not love."

While these sayings and quotes make us feel good, is this practically possible? Not all of us are Teresa and Satchidananda. If all were, they won't be recognized for what they are. From a common man perspective, I have a  question, "Why does the sufferer keep suffering and call it unconditional love? Can't those useless creeps feel pity for being such a pain in our lives and think reciprocally?"

Do you have thoughts that help me and those who face similar situations? Comment below!

Love,

Dependency is evil

Consciously I've done everything possible to avoid being a dependent. To the maximum extent possible, I avoid taking help and do most of the things by myself.

But without ever realizing, I've allowed a lot others to be a dependent on me. A handful who felt better having dependency on me, a few I had pet myself and nurtured as my dependents.

When the realization struck me, I began to say no to these dependents. Neither do I nurture them, nor do I encourage those who depend on me.

It's great to be on our own. Similarly, it's great to see whom you care for being on their own. Saying no is a beautiful way to see your beloved ones grow. Say no & watch them grow.

When all else is lost, the one within survives. One must be ready and take practice to be thyself. When there's no other way out, take help.

Say no, kill dependency!

Love,

Marriages are made in heaven & broken in Earth

It's an old saying, marriages are made in heaven. Now it's time to append and add few words to it... And broken in earth.

Gone are the days when either or both partners took conscious efforts to keep the marriage alive. I've known couples who never got to look at each other's face until at the place where the marriage took place.

Having been brought in different culture and life styles, the initial roads of the married life are often filled with bumps. A German couple who attended my cousins wedding advised, "the first five years are the toughest, and then awaits a beautiful life ahead."

But how many couples are willing to take it beyond that period or even willing to understand that differences need to be embraced and sorted out?

Food is a personal boundary, and there are many others that should not be crossed.

I've known a man who's family is used to having a meal at night. When he married a woman who's used to eating lite dinners and not rice, started to pinch the basic rights of livelihood. Many other reasons collided and they ended up in divorce.

I had to caution this man in his second wedding as he planned to make his fiance to cook meals for him and tiffin for herself for supper. I had to explain the pain of cooking different dishes for different persons, thereby increasing efforts in cooking and cleaning. And then it struck this man about how personal spaces were being compromised and how to cope up with individual demands.

Empathy, not sympathy is a key to embrace marriages. However, it has to be a conscious effort of the two people involved.

High networth, networks, ability to influence and persuade, all these backed by employability and self made possessions have contributed to collapses of weddings.

Marriages were made in Heaven to last, not to be broken in Earth.

Love,

Truth is one, paths are many!

Having been raised in a traditional family with liberal stances, and being raised in Christian schools, I've always been open to a religion that isn't mine.

It was then I was in a school which preach "Truth is one, paths are many", a saying from its founder Swami Satchidananda.

Community prayers were held each evening where all students of all religion sit together, chant holy hymns of all gods.

Bible stories such as Noah's & Anon have fascinated me a lot. I picked up interest to read the holy Quran and in reading less than two pages, I realized I wasn't matured enough to continue reading it further.

Cultures across religions are always fascinating, and one life time isn't enough to explore them all.

Join me in my journey and share few insights in the comments below on your rich experiences in understating religion & cultures.

Love,

The Weak Becomes Adamant

When anyone comes across someone with an adamant character, it's natural for common folk to judge them for a negative attitude.

With years of observation and lots of people I've observed so far, the root of adamance points and tapers to weak souls.

The ones who are weak are often taken advantage of. The weak ones have gone through a lot of compromises, a lot of adjustments and sacrifices.

As these weaklings evolve in accordance to Darwin's survival of the fittest, the route they choose is adamance. It becomes easy to put their foot down, be rude and have their say by being adamant.

Next time you see someone adamant, don't be quick in your judgments. Who knows their past?

Two Key Skills

Ever wondered how very few people have the ability to face any situations and manage to survive, scale up the hierarchy and almost face no rejections?

There are two things that differentiate people who remain as success magnets.

1) Ability to communicate. Of course, anyone can communicate. What actually matters is that one must possess the ability to judge the audience and communicate accordingly. One of my pals from my Business School during a placement group discussion used a jargon FMEA. It makes an impact to the  recruiting officer to pause and pay attention to the candidate. Now that's remarkable and helped to move to a panel interview. We later discovered he didn't even know it's full form. FMEA - Failure Mode Effective Analysis.

2) Willingness to learn. The same pal has had a cold war over WhatsApp with another mate from our class. And yet, had only one objective in his mind. Willingness to learn. Although the math & grammar tests are irrelevant to his career path, shed his ego and patched with the other guy and learnt how to crack the math aptitude. One must possess the willingness to learn, apart from merely talking and must have no concerns about the source of learning.

These are the forces behind the magnets successful people possess. It's not necessary to take a resolution at New Year's. Any day is a New Day.

Cultural disasters

There's a saying India is a mosaic of cultures. But what needs to be looked in to is identify what is a cultural misfit to current situation and dump behind.

There are visible sources to learn from. I fail to understand why we don't pay attention to these learning sources.

This post is through observing cultural differences of people of north and south India in my regular cab transport.

There's a bunch of new hires from North, and almost all of them have loud voices, highly outgoing and very broad minded compared to the people of south.

While south Indians remain calm and have low voices in terms of interacting, are not as broad minded as the people from north.

A north Indian girl happens to sit casually  in the 11 seater  vehicle, immaterial whether it's a guy or a girl who's sitting in next seat. However, a south Indian girl throws tantrums about a seat next to a guy and goes about shuffling the seat arrangement of all people in the vehicle to get a seat next to her own gender or a free single seat.

I'm not judging whether it is right or wrong, but the need to throw behind inhibitions and thoughts that are irrelevant in current scenario.

Can the south & north imbibe & embrace each others best practices?

Let them own their perceptions!

Roughly about two years back, this incident had occurred. It was the first evening we were dining at the new hostel during my MBA program.

I don't remember the situation where I used such a statement, but I still remember what I mentioned.

Me: I give back more than what I get. As long as someone is good to me, I'll be good, and when it's other way around, I give it back more than what I get.

Second person: smiles.

That statement was not made with any intention of addressing anyone. Just had to use it in the situation.

Third person: (in my absence) Look at his attitude. I wonder how the next two years are to pass with such a person.

A fourth person who happened to be a silent spectator and a well wisher of me, informed me about the conversation later requesting me to be careful among people who judge so blindly and talk in absence of the party involved.

I just replied him, let him have his own perceptions, I'll remain what I am. There will come a time, when his perception would change and he would understand me. Honestly, I have not done anything after that.

Time rolled by, we were either too busy or too useless at different times of the calendar. In one such instance, just as I told, this person had a chance to realize about me and correct his perceptions about me. Without any effort from my side. And then we happened to be the best friends there after.

Today's take away: Let them own their perceptions and be free to have their thoughts... Just remain what you are. There will come a time when people will realize their mistakes. Don't ever correct anyone with their thoughts. Let them remain what they are, and you remain as what you are.

Perceptions are theirs to keep!

Are We Prepared?

Chennai floods have been a huge wake up call to the people of India & to the world. Lots have lost houses, possessions and families too.

Although having nothing to lose, I faced what it was to refer like being a refugee, without food and having to vacate from where I stayed.

With a disconnect to electricity, Chennai was in darkness, even during the day. Internet was down, leaving electronic payments and ATM machines redundant.

What came through this was just a sample from nature, to prove earthlings, particularly human are so weak compared to nature.

Read about 1859 solar storms, which affected telegraphic poles, the advancement at that stage. Are we now prepared to face a solar storm which could backdate us beyond internet which seems to have been included in basic needs like food, water & air?

Can internet survive in a stage of lack of electricity? With advancement being so rapid, do we from earth's functional perspective, have a continuity plan? Most businesses have continuity plans, do we have life continuity plans in place?

Hindu temple shrines copper dooms are thunder receptors enabled with millets inside them for dual purposes. One, to dissipate thunder and other for life continuity in case of floods, seeds are to be taken for reuse of agricultural evolution.

At the pace we are moving ahead, are we prepared to live in a time and position without any of these recent developments. Only those who are prepared for such an outcome, are defined as survival of fittest by Darwin.

Are we prepared?

From,
Old Sage.