Sibling Rivalry

Wherever you are in a public place like a railway station, airport or temple or any random place with a sizable crowd and families staying put, take a look to see children of age 4 to 5, and how they deal with their younger siblings below age 2.

Most likely one could spot sibling rivalry or abuse of the elder one. This so happens because of the sense of insecurity and losing importance by the elder child's parents, especially that of the mother's.

The elder child feels he or she lost the attention and love and begins to feels the rivalry against the root cause, the new baby which now has become the center of attraction.

The elder child feels it's territory encroached and feels being competed upon for the mother's lap, mother's attention, and being given importance by several others in the family.

A child of two or three or four has no maturity to realize that the new source of competition is actually his or her own belonging.

As the younger one matures being subject to ill treatment or physical abuse of the elder one, the rivalry intensifies in an array of issues such as belongings of toys etc, as the siblings get mature with age, the boundaries get wider and more hatred gets developed in various aspects.

How to tackle?

Parents should well prepare the elder one mentally with regards to the new arrival and create a sense of welcoming home of the new baby.

Once the new one arrives, the parent, particularly the mother must spend enough time with the elder baby as well.

Depending upon the age, the elder child should be given very small and basic responsibility to care for the young one.

The sense of togetherness must be inculcated at a very young age which will reduce the friction of sibling rivalry.

Write back to me in the comments section below.

Parenting is an art! How ready are you, as a parent?

Love,

What's lacking in this selfish world?

As the title outlays the theme for the post, today's world is taking its steps towards a selfish living. This is mainly because we're lacking a basic trait, empathy!

Empathy is largely different from sympathy and is most often interchangeably confused.

We humans are losing the most important qualifier for emotional intelligence by not being empathetic.

Whether it's at work where a manager has unrealistic expectations not actually knowing the basic intricacies of work outcomes or personal relationships where we fail to think of the perspectives, emotional and other needs, intentions or motivations of our partners.

There's this saying, people were meant to be loved and things meant to be used, sadly it's otherwise and this needs to be addressed at grass root level, parenting!

Love,

Water, water everywhere

Water, water everywhere, no water to use!?

A small summary as to how we can manage water and still live in peace.

Guess about a decade ago, the ADMK party while in power introduced the rain water harvesting scheme. Steps were religiously followed, and checks were done to validate that each household had a rain water harvest provision. This helped collect the rain water and increase the ground water table.

Are the audits continued now to check rain water harvest? If not, can we reinstate the good practice and bring it back to life?

Well, apart from the long struggle that won several cusecs of water that was released and the chaos that's stirred between the two States and the insecurities raised amidst the people of two States, is there a long term solution that we can do from our own side?

I believe yes, the entire Tamil Nadu state highways and key road routes can create rain water harvest pits every kilometer, and can be directly managed, implemented and funded by local corporations or districts, thereby collect the rain water, rather let it mix with drainage or loss to sea.

There's a correlation and causality between deforestation rate and rain fall deficit. A whole lot of trees are being chopped and new saplings are not being replaced, causing impact with increased warm temperatures. As I grew up in my school we were encouraged to grow at least one tree per household. But that was during a time when apartments or flats were not even existing. Now households per acre have increased several folds requiring more trees be planted.

I wonder if people have lost the thought in their mind that flora and fauna coexist with circulation of oxygen and carbon dioxide between each other.

Another alarming factor is the water bodies being converted as lands and real estates based on illegal poaching of lands which were once water bodies.

A lot can be done in terms of water treatment of sewage or drainage which can be reused in various ways.

If penny saved is penny gained & each drop makes an ocean are true, a lot of water can be saved and ground water table can be increased.

Thoughts? Write below!

Love,

Why Saying No Is Important

Well everyone of us has been there. I'm sure there's not much contradiction here. It's very very difficult to say no, immaterial of how difficult it is, one must practice the art of saying no.

While a lot of you who have a sales background might be familiar with the funnel of conversion from lead to deal, might well relate to this post as to why a no, a genuine no serves as a bliss.

Be it an interview result from a recruiter, a sale deal from a customer, an approval from a parent, a decision maker plays the most important role of saving time of the negotiator who's at least following up a minimum of three attempts in order bring the deal to a close/drop.

A sales person will very well be aware of the fact that from a 100 contacts a bare minimum of 3-5 deals might strike. But to judge which of the 100 calls might make it to a deal is a strenuous task.

A lot of us, are unable to say no; merely for the sake of not possessing the courage to say no or merely for the sake of being nice. If our true intention is to be nice, the best thing to do is to genuinely say no, thereby save their valuable time so they buckle up and track down the next prospect.

A lot of time and energy will be saved in terms of negotiations, if we merely possess the ability to say no.

Love,

The Beauty of Being Disconnected

Eight days without a smart phone might sound like less than a luxury for many of you. But if one chose to be without it, and experience the beauty of it, the realization strikes that it indeed is a luxury to live a life without it.

My temporary phone didn't support me to download the most popular chatting application. I was disconnected from a lot of you, including this blog app I use to write to you all time to time.

The first day was really restless, I continued to unlock my temporary phone time to time to check notifications and felt disappointed to see nill notifications. It took me two whole days to detoxify myself and fully realize the mental state we currently are in. How restless have we become in terms of constantly checking notifications and texts.

The third day and subsequent days were spent in a whole lot of peace of mind, an unexplainable calmness took over where I began to stop being constantly being distracted to my phone in the name of being connected with loved ones.

The days of being disconnected from my smart phone, allowed me to connect to  myself more deeply with a calm and peaceful mind. I fell asleep much quicker these days without waking up to random chats and notifications.

Life indeed was beautiful to stay disconnected this way. While it's too difficult to stay that way forever, I believe such a short term detoxification is necessary time to time.

While a lot of you out there might get ready with a lot of moderately acceptable abusive comments to write below, try  once to have a digital detoxification.

It's worth giving a try!

Love,