Be polite & Emphathetic

We are all running too fast in this world, not knowing our destination. We're hoarding more than we can consume. We're not living at the present.

We are focused on interacting with someone else over a call or a messenger application and not showing bare minimum politeness to the person next to us.

We send emojis with fake intentions. How many of us really smile or really happy on our faces as we use such emoticon?

We pass the hatred we have for someone else to a wrong recipient. How often have be done this and/or faced this!?

We can see some shop keepers so rude and shout at some people and ask them, "Are you mad?" Little do we realize if the other person is autistic or challenged.

Some shop keepers do not want to donate a meal to a person who is so badly hungry, foreseeing the other person to come back every day.

Where's humanity in us? What are schools teaching to children? How are the double income couples raising their children?

Empathy seems to be the most wanted and mostly missing thing.

Be kind and empathetic. Don't pass your hatred or grudge on someone to a wrong recipient.

This Christmas & New Year, look at reflecting on these aspects.

Love,

Embrace the Difference

Four of us are sharing a car ride from our office, on the way we happen to see an incident where a young girl was loudly crying. It's not quite the normal scene and hence a crowd was slowly getting attracted to the spot.

As we pass by, one person assumes a sexual assault could have taken place and the girl could have been attacked. The second person says the girl who possibly was driving hit her vehicle and fell off the road. The third person says a thief could have snatched valuables and disappeared in to the neighbouring deserted area covered with overly grown weeds and trees.

Can you relate to such a situation? As in where multiple people taking multiple assumptions? These perspectives from different people arise due to differences in thought processes which are totally different according to each individual.

Such differences in thoughts are the genesis for differences in perspectives, such different perspectives lead to different approaches, motivations and intentions.

The above is just a small level analysis in terms of differences. Now take a huge perspective where the sample size is hundreds of people taking approach to same situation.

Such differences of opinion should be celebrated as it provides insights and exposes us to a different thought process which we otherwise might neglect or be ignorant about.

So the next time you want to argue about the difference in opinion, try embracing it. You get a new perspective free of cost.

Love,

What's lacking in this selfish world?

As the title outlays the theme for the post, today's world is taking its steps towards a selfish living. This is mainly because we're lacking a basic trait, empathy!

Empathy is largely different from sympathy and is most often interchangeably confused.

We humans are losing the most important qualifier for emotional intelligence by not being empathetic.

Whether it's at work where a manager has unrealistic expectations not actually knowing the basic intricacies of work outcomes or personal relationships where we fail to think of the perspectives, emotional and other needs, intentions or motivations of our partners.

There's this saying, people were meant to be loved and things meant to be used, sadly it's otherwise and this needs to be addressed at grass root level, parenting!

Love,

Why Saying No Is Important

Well everyone of us has been there. I'm sure there's not much contradiction here. It's very very difficult to say no, immaterial of how difficult it is, one must practice the art of saying no.

While a lot of you who have a sales background might be familiar with the funnel of conversion from lead to deal, might well relate to this post as to why a no, a genuine no serves as a bliss.

Be it an interview result from a recruiter, a sale deal from a customer, an approval from a parent, a decision maker plays the most important role of saving time of the negotiator who's at least following up a minimum of three attempts in order bring the deal to a close/drop.

A sales person will very well be aware of the fact that from a 100 contacts a bare minimum of 3-5 deals might strike. But to judge which of the 100 calls might make it to a deal is a strenuous task.

A lot of us, are unable to say no; merely for the sake of not possessing the courage to say no or merely for the sake of being nice. If our true intention is to be nice, the best thing to do is to genuinely say no, thereby save their valuable time so they buckle up and track down the next prospect.

A lot of time and energy will be saved in terms of negotiations, if we merely possess the ability to say no.

Love,

Power of Influence

It was during my late teen years when I happened to see a documentary on Oprah Winfrey. There was this unexplainable feeling that I could resonate to every word that described the life of this Media Mogul. Her past seemed to be similar, her determination seemed to be similar, her achievements seem similar to my aspirations. Going deep dive and trying to know more about this person and her respect for Maya Angelou and their relationship seems similar to what I hold with a mentor of mine. Unknown to her, unmet, Oprah Winfrey has seeded deeply in myself that my aspirations can be tapped with my potential and that they can be crowned as achievements that might instill a similar effect on another person and thus, the cycle continues.

Influence is so powerful that the influencer might not even been alive during the same span of our lives and might have lived hundreds of years back.

Shakespearian words gives me goosebumps like none else. His plays are a great source of influence that inspire several writers as myself. If I read an article about his skull missing in the cemetery, it gives me chills down my spine. Influence is the medium to feel related to someone or their thoughts actions or achievements.

Now think what happens when someone so ignorant chooses a wrong source of influence. Choose wisely.

Love,

Childhood Memoirs

Reaching out to all of you out there, through my various posts on behaviors, psychology & relationships has been a pleasant journey. A lot of you have agreed on while the other lot has agreed to disagree with me. Well, that's the balance of life, one needs to adjust to live. I receive more personal mails and messages than comments on the blog.

One friend of mine, pointed out "superiority complex" portrayed in my posts, while I had to defend myself for the limitless levels of inferiority complex I've had to deal with and learn a hard way to cope up with people and life.

Below is one such memory of my childhood in a residential school where I was initially lost in trying to stabilize with the changes in the environment. This was the first school I went to that had a library,   a place that mostly resembled a museum, largely due to the silence associated with it, like the ones that I've visited from my previous schools as a one day trip.

While trying to adapt about being on my own was itself a huge complexity, academics was another area that I had to fight with. Thanks to the excellent food there that puts me to sleep in the morning hours. While I'm active out of my slumber, it's time for lunch and again I go back on a slumber for the afternoon sessions.

Once a week there is an hour at the library, where we pick up a new book in exchange for the old book we had taken in the past week. I never knew why I picked those books in the first place, forget about reading them. In few weeks a slip was handed over where all of us had to summarize the contents of the book and submit at the time of returning the book. Wait, I've never read them ever! I simply copied the back cover blurb of the book and returned the book to the librarian.

I had no clue he was so jobless to sit and read the summary of all submissions. Or may be that was his key responsibility, who cares!? He called me forward and asked me to extend my arm, and there he struck my arm with a yellow wooden scale. I'm not sure if those wooden rulers still around in the market here!

While adapting to the environment, academics being complex enough at a very young age, with no support on how to adapt to a new life, forcing things down is a pain that's hard to explain. And what more can be painful when you realize you're the source for your fellow mates to laugh at!?

Now, who was the one who sent me that text on "Superiority Complex?"

Things have changed far for good and I've published my first book at the age of 26, an age half of it at which the Academic Head of the same school published his first.

Now, that's not Superiority Complex, rather I'd call it, living well. What else could be the best revenge?

Love,

Mind one's self

Have you ever wondered the depth of understanding or realization you could hit on if you paid attention to yourself and not to others.

Observation is key to learning, but not by observing other people and their lives.

How many of us have encountered our foods and plates being seen over by others across other tables in a restaurant?

This is a common scene in many parts, at least within India.

One must pay attention to their own needs, wants & desires and try to satisfy it rather than see someone else.

One quote of Will Smith or who ever said that I like the most, we buy things with money we don't have, to impress people whom we don't like. Funny, yet so damn true!

Your thoughts? Reply in comments!

Love,

Customer service

Back in 2010, I used to work as a customer support analyst for UK's largest telecom provider for broadband internet. Almost everyone in my team and other teams used to make use of opportunity to swap to an unproductive aux and avoid taking a call. Be it training, hurdle or in name of documenting the call.

Rather I used to answer calls anytime. For I loved to interact with people, and I loved helping them.

There was this incident where my first English caller of that day began to ruin my happiness as she was very irate. It took me more than 20 minutes to identify the issue. There was no problem with the broadband network. My scope to support ends the minute we have established internet connection.

But this customer was troubled. I felt the urge to help and asked her what she was intending to do. She replied that she underwent a surgery in her eye few days back and she can see only with one eye, and she wanted to send email to her children and relatives that the surgery was a success and she was safe.

I took every possible effort to help her write her first ever email in her life. The physical cripple coupled with agony of ignorance had troubled the poor lady. When she clicked the send button on email, she genuinely thanked me, "Son, I know I've been very bad to you. Yet, you have been so kind to me. And thank you so much. God bless you."

The reason why I'm sharing a story almost 6 years later is, every call in a support center is an opportunity to help someone in need. Every avoidance is a real need ignored. Take pride in what you do, never underestimate the role you are doing at work, you are there to help someone. Do it with that empathy.

The best way to reach God is to serve his kids who need to be helped. It's never through donations made to temples that man built and claims as God's residence.

Love,