Psychology - On Parenting

I am no parent myself, but I spend enough time to read reasearch articiles, blogs and experiences. I also observe around my life, people and their mistakes on this bit, parenting. 

Well, it makes sense that I am starting to write exclusively on Parenting, as the topic is very broad and way too deep. It simply cannot limited to a single post.

Well today, let me write in brief about the most common mistakes parents do. Children these days are smart, and there is no denial there. Babies are far more intelligent today, learn quick and emulate the surroundings way fast and quicker than the children in 70s, or 80s. The intelligence they carry, via the genetic memory or in their DNA from their parents combined with the kind of exposure to technology, takes their IQs more than the parents. As much as an individual learns, the genetic memory + acquired knowledge of the child, keeps the child far more intelligent than the parent. And sadly this is a gap that keeps increasing similar to a Fibbinocci series. There is no reversal to this. Understanding this perspective and accepting that the child is far more intelligent than the parent, is one first step. 

But the second and crucial step, is very important. Don't every play dumb to your kids. Many parents do the common mistake of presenting themselves naive and ignorant, to give a moral boost to their child to feel proud of him/herself. That is totally wrong. You may handle any other means and methods to encourage your child, to make them feel better. But DO NOT, belittle yourselves. It may be nice at the beginning, but as years progress, the pespective the child develops in its mind is that you are dumb and not intelligent. The child may begin to admire someone else within the family or from outside the family. Apparently the child begins to choose mentors outside the family, and wrong examples the child sets for itself are costly.

Read here - The Confusion Prevailing over Mentors

It becomes a constant battle, between the child and the parent, once the child begins to have the notion that his/her parent(s) are not intelligent enough to learn from/emulate. 

Keep an intelligent poise and let your child realize his/her parents have had battles and life experiences that are valuable to look up to and learn from. Do not do the mistake of playing dumb to your child, for his/her confidence or feel good factor and repent as he grows in to adolescence assuming you aren't intelligent enough. To change that perspective would be a much tougher battle to fight.  

Love,

De Old Sage!